Decorating Tips

Since I have my own apartment but no friends that I want to come visit it, decorating hasn't really been my top priority. Luckily, some friends got married and gave me their second set of kitchen stuff; otherwise I'd be eating off of the bathtub ledge (because it's easy to sterilize, and afterward I can just shower the crumbs away. Don't pretend you've never done it).

Here are the things I have in my apartment currently:

• A bed
• A table
• Two chairs
• A desk still in the box, waiting to be assembled by tools I don't own
• A fully stocked kitchen
• Old yogurt in the fridge, among other foodstuffs
• Stackable plastic drawers for my clothes
• A trash can
• A shower curtain and some very fluffy towels
• Candles
• Cardboard boxes stacked up so that I can't even see the back door anymore. I keep them there to deter burgling. And in case I want to build a fort.

I'm like a less-charming Holly Golightly, in that I can't find anything, although that's most likely because I probably think I own a bunch of things that I don't. So I just wander around my apartment yelling, "WHERE DID I LEAVE MY GROWN-UP WARDROBE/HAIR DRYER/SOFA/DOG?" And then my downstairs neighbor shouts up, "CARRIE. YOU ONLY HAVE A BED AND THREE PLATES AND LIKE FOUR OUTFITS YOU BOUGHT WHEN YOU WERE TWELVE. STOP DOING THIS EVERY DAY."

Maybe I'm just a minimalist. Not because I particularly need my life streamlined, but because it's too hard to bring anything bigger than a lamp up the three flights of steep, narrow stairs. Plus, I prefer to spend my paycheck on more useful things, like fine cheeses and silly string. 

I do, however, have an impressive collection of mugs. I moved to a third-floor apartment so that on the worst day of my life, I can stand on the rickety back stairs and smash them all onto the ground. But I'll wait until the Amish are passing by, and scare them.

Anyway. I have lots of decorating ideas now that it's spring and I can shop at the thrift stores downtown and then just haul my new stuff home without worrying about breaking my body on ice and slush. Check in for regular installments of Auntie Carrie's Decorating Tips, including:

• Match Your Home: Using textiles to blend in with your surroundings
• Hobo-Chic: Tin cans and old shoes make any lean-to feel cozier instantly
• In the Belly of the Beast: Throw out your zebra print ottoman; animal innards are what's in today!

Image via The Bohemian Luxe Life.

NaNoWriMo Writing Tip of the Week: The First

Set Your Writer's Table

A cluttered work space reflects a cluttered mind. A cluttered mind puts forth cluttered writing, and soon you find yourself writing nothing but threatening messages in the thick layer of dust coating every surface, your poor manuscript forgotten on the ... well, it's somewhere around here. Under a planter, in the refrigerator, lining a tiny hole as insulation for a rat's nest - who knows.

If you want your readers to feast on delicate morsels of finely-crafted sentences, then create a calm, decadent atmosphere in which to surround yourself. Light some candles. Hire a butler. Dress in your finest each time you sit down to write. Your writing will likewise become sophisticated and refined, and whoever designs your book cover will probably put a monocle on there.

Daily Exercise:  Create a meal that reflects whatever project you're working on at the moment. Set the table and reserve a place for your manuscript, as well. Pour it a glass of wine. Cut its meat for it. Then, lovingly and sensuously, smear the food you've prepared over every page you've written. Let the words absorb every particle of food; stain your writing with sauces and grease; grind any leftover crumbs into the very fibers of the paper. Once that's done, place your manuscript squarely upon your plate, cut off a corner, and eat it. Eat the whole thing. Only then can you truly become your story.

Below are the plates of authors who have successfully used this technique:

Oscar Wilde

Harper Lee

Dr. Seuss

Edward Gorey

Ernest Hemingway

Images via Tim Chester, Travel & Leisure, Kate Sears for Martha Stewart, District GPS, 30 Pounds of Apples, Clairey Hewitt.