Skee-Lo's discontent knows no bounds.
This started out as a dumb little joke and ended after an hour-long struggle with MS Paint. Also, I listened to that song thirty-seven times on repeat tonight. This is why I don't do crafts.
...Or craft, which sounds ridiculous when it's used as a verb, like "TGIF!! Time for some serious crafting and red wine wit mah girlz!!!"
You can craft a sentence or do a craft, but you can't just craft. Give that shit an object, fools.
Here's a list of other terms that give me a gross feeling in my bones when I hear them used:
- De-stress, as in "You don't even know, it's been a rully hard day? And I just rully need to chillax right now and de-streesss." It uses the same number of syllables as "relax," but probably takes more time to say, since that double S on the end just goes on forever until someone cuts you off and says, "No, what you need is to CALM DOWN." I guess it's just rully a matter of tone?
- De-plane/de-board. This one really gets The Boy. Every time his plane lands, he visibly shakes with rage as he waits for the flight attendant to say it. And she does, every time. Then the boy mutters, "Dis...em...bark! DISEMBARK!"
- Grow, as in "grow your investment." You can grow hair or crops or fond of someone, but that's it. You don't grow your children or your piles of money.
- Re-grow, as in "Don't be absurd."
- Gifting, as in "I'm gifting my organs to science after I die." It saves you literally no time or effort compared to saying it the right way. Just say "give."
- Nesting, like what new parents do. Because it's gross. Mama-bird, as in "I'mma mama-bird you this yogurt I'm eating," is only acceptable when used as a threat.
HEY FRIENDS, WHAT WORDS DO YOU HATE AND JUDGE OTHERS FOR USING?
Images via a blog that's actually called I Wish, used to illustrate a different song on Lady Bird Loves, a foreign website, and a Top 21 Things one lady wishes she knew, including the fact that you can google everything, and your life has already started. You should read that.